Above All Else
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
Protecting our mental, spiritual, and emotional health in a time of turbulence and media overexposure can be challenging. My social media timelines have become a barrage of news article links, posts with trigger warning tags, graphic photos, and hotly debated topics – everyone in an effort to have their voice heard or to express solidarity with the greater community on certain issues. The most recent and polarizing topic has been sexual assault against women, in the context of highly contentious confirmation hearing of the newly sworn-in Supreme Court Justice.
Several women and men (yes, men too) that I know personally have sought my confidence and guidance over the past two weeks regarding trauma from sexual violence. As someone who has personally experienced assault and harassment, the pain expressed in the testimonies of others that have gone through similar experiences is one I know all too well. Many onlookers watched the hearings last week and started to relieve emotions they may have buried deep inside long ago. Some of them have experienced PTSD or PTSD-like symptoms as a result.
I’ve gotten questions about how to navigate this uncertain territory we are in. I can only speak to what works for me personally, but I prioritize three major moves when society gets tricky to manage.
Unplug. Resist the temptation of reading every “breaking news” article. Turn off the major news television networks. Put the phone down and back away from it slowly. Log off social media altogether or take full advantage of the “snooze for 30 days” button on folks who are using their account as a bullhorn. As a policy wonk, I have to remind myself that it is perfectly OK to not follow every detail of every news story in realtime, if it is not conducive to me having peace.
Allot time limits to engage. For anyone who has just updated their iPhone, there’s a new feature on there that tells you how long you have been staring at your phone. You get on to check one simple thing and boom, it’s 4 hours later and dark outside! Not healthy. Seeing that social media has become a part of most of our daily routines, it’s a healthy practice to place some limits on how long we are absorbed in the constant stream of thought of others. Set an alarm if you need to, but a max of 2 hours of screen time per day (especially if you’re being triggered over and over and over again) is more than enough.
Use your village. Your support system is everything. If you don’t have one, there are hotlines, churches, nonprofits, and counselors that would be more than happy to help you process what you’re feeling / thinking / experiencing. If you do have a good group of friends and/or family in your life, utilize them as allies and confidantes if you feel they’re trustworthy. I don’t believe we’re designed to do life alone. If you ask me about seeking professional therapy, my answer will always be YES, PLEASE! It’s an incredible investment in yourself. You are worth healing from trauma, shedding harmful defense mechanisms, and living your most evolved life. With that being said, as much as I’m a proponent for healthy conversation, I’m also giving you permission to disengage or avoid engaging altogether with people who may be looking to instigate trouble or find a way to attack you for your views. Respectful exchange of differences in opinion can be held, but choose those conversations carefully – especially at work or in newer social settings.
Final word:
Be gentle with yourself this week, and with others. Be judicious with your words, liberal with your grace, and intentional with your empathy. Protect your mind, heart, and spirit at all costs. Whether this means getting into therapy or finally telling your story… whatever it means to you — you are worth the investment.